NO you CANNOT touch my hair

Let's talk about... Micro aggressions...

Have you been spewing micro aggressions and not even been aware?

Until recently a member of our team had not even known this term existed nor what it meant, yet she has fallen victim to it at the hands of too many people to even recall.

Our goal is to bring awareness so that we think before we speak and imagine how what we say may affect those that we say it to.

Here is her latest story as a perfect example of a common micro aggression:

On a crazy hot day In Dallas my daughters and I decided to have a great Italian feast at a newly recommended spot in the downtown area. As we sat, my teen and my toddler hurriedly grabbed the menus ready to fill our empty bellies.

Then it happened, our waiter says, while gazing at my toddler with a strange mix of bewilderment and adoration, “She is so pretty, her hair is so long and curly, she is just so pretty…”

I wanted to scream, “We are all pretty and we all have pretty hair whatever that even is!” I wanted to ask, “What makes her hair so pretty? The fact that it’s long or loosely coiled?”

As I watched annoyance and disappointment wash over my teen with the tightly coiled hair twisted up and styled into a beautiful crown, I simply said, “Thank you…”

Why should we be made to feel this way simply to avoid having to correct or educate?

I think it would be far better to gather some sensitivity, knowledge and understanding about African American culture and our community and think fully before speaking or simply remain quiet.

If we are unaware as to if the thing that we want to say is inappropriate always choose silence because if you have to question it, it probably is inappropriate.

We are not your teachers, and it’s exhausting to always have to educate on what should come as natural etiquette. I need for us to do better, be better as a world in general. African Americans are not the only victims of micro aggression. Let’s change how we speak, how we move and the feelings we invoke on people.

Oh and by the way, NO you CANNOT touch my hair.